A · pointless · life

I always dream a lot when the seasons change. I generally don't mind, but I've actually remembered the last 3 dreams I had over the last 2 days. 2 of them where borderline nightmares, while the 3rd was very.. anime-ish.

My 1st dream was the worst, and felt very realistic. In short it was about being stuck in an elevator that was about to fall with my parents, and being nearly unable to get my mother (who is unable to walk and must use a wheel chair) out before the cord snapped.

My 2nd dream was about 5 armed druggies coming down our road towards the house and only having 2 bullets left in the riffle to defend myself with. D: We actually have 6 bullets, but with the increased gang activity in the slum near us and such I wish we had more.

My 3rd dream was very pleasant, despite making me feel like some sort of otoku. It had to have been caused by all the reverse harem anime I've been watching lately. Myself and like 4 other very handsome young men were assistens to some professor somewhere and were studying some plants in the mountains and I ended up being partnered with one who I apparently had a crush on. And like out of no where he says "Hm.. You smell nice today, Elizabeth.. You must have washed your hair." "Oh~ Well for you Ryan I'd wash it everyday~" And he smiled and touched my arm and then I woke up. *cough* e_e; I.. am not really into grooming, so I can easily go a week without bathing or changing clothes.. Which I know grosses a lot of people out, but its the truth.. That's just how I've always been.

That's probably why I liked this anime called Nodome Cantabile. The main character Nodome really reminds me of myself, only I'm less perverted, don't eat nearly as much as she does, and can't play piano very well (because my hands are so frigging small D:) It was a good anime though, very cute and funny. I'm looking forward to the second season.

Anyway, back to the 3rd dream. The most disturbing part for me was that when I woke up I felt like my heart had been broken and felt very cheated. Like.. how dare reality steal my dream away from me. Which is really odd.. I don't really like being around people and haven't yet felt the need for that sort of relationship. D: I actually fell back asleep after that (I only woke up because a cat landed on me..) and while I and he remained the same all of a sudden I was a shrine maiden and he was my knight and.. then my alarm went off. I've never even been to a shrine.. So yeah. I enjoyed both half's, but.. the second part felt very.. odd.

I then made pancakes for breakfast. I make good pancakes. I wish I could make better burgers though. I want to have my own restaurant, a burger shack or something, but I can't do that if I make lousy burger patties. D: And it'd just be odd to only serve the things I do make well (pancakes, grilled cheese, tuna melts, french fries?) So I need to practice more.

Ahh. Unrelated to the things earlier, but Square-Enix makes me angry. They cut out half the games text in DQ4. While I have been enjoying the game thus far, I feel cheated because I won't be able to know the characters better. I'm also angry for Kingdom Hearts fans, because S-E is releasing the PS2 version of KH:Chain of Memories. Which HAD also been sold with an upgraded KH2. I don't like KH, as I have no interest in playing a game that doesn't really have any female party members. But still.. :/

As for the reverse harem anime I've been watching recently, I can't say I recommend any of it. I loved Host Club, but that's the only one I've ever liked. The rest are really.. lame. The one I'm watching now, Neo Angelique Abyss, is okay.. but its building the relationship with the guy character I don't really like. He's cute and all, and useful.. but he wears a mid-drift shirt and that just bothers me. He looks like some sort of slut. D: Sigh. Though it makes sense that she'd end up with him, I mean one guy is a robot, another is some sort of immortal who's been alive for at least 70 years, and the other is an elf. All 3 of those will outlive her, while the 4th is fairly normal.. I think. e_e;

So yeah.. My days are uneventful. They use to stretch out before me, endlessly.. But with the world wide depression occurring I wonder how long it will continue? I'm also vaguely worried for the first time that I really will end up as a cat lady. o_x; With that, and the drama my dads been having at his work I've actually been a bit stressed and started cracking my knuckles again. I really should stop, but I do it without thinking again. ~_~

I also finally got around to takeing pictures of Cleo, I'll probably post them once I resize them and upload them and.. stuff. xD

So I ended up with a "free" kitten a few days ago. I say "free" because we had to take her to the vet to get shots and to have a bath. She was covered in fleas, it was really gross.. Sure our cats have a few, we ARE surrounded by fields. So its not unexpected, but you could SEE them crawling all over her. Ugh. D: So our "free" kitten ended up costing us $160.. sigh. I -was- going to buy a doll body or a 360 this month, but I guess I'll wait till next month. ._.;

I'll post pictures of Cleo (the kitten) soon! :3

I thought E3 this year had some pretty good announcements. FF13 for the 360 was super awesome, since of the 2 I'll like have the 360 first. Not that the PS3 is finally getting some good games (Valkyria Chronicles, Disgaea 3, Lost Remment, a deluxe version of Eternal Sonata~), just the 360 outweighs it still (Tales of Vesparia, Lost Odyssey, Blue Dragon, Star Ocean 4!) X3 Really, Tales of Vesparia and Star Ocean pushed the 360 way into my favor, so.. yeah. We'll see. :3

For systems I do own, I'm looking forward to Star Ocean 1 and 2 on the PSP, the 3 Dragon Quest remakes, Princess Debut, A Witch's Tale, and Rhapsody for the DS, Persona 4 for the PS2. There are others I'm probably forgetting, but those are the only ones that come to mind atm.

A few days ago a new AIM buddy of mine asked me how many RPGs had female leads in it. So I compiled a list of all the games I've gotten so far that have a female lead or let you change your lead character. Pretty much if a game has this its an instant buy for me. x3

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So every week has its ups and downs. This last week was mostly up, with the exception of Saturday (the 17th).

On Sat. I had a doll meet/picnick thingier, but it was around 103 that day and only half the people showed up and I wasn't allowed to play with anyone elses dolls. :/  The people who had shown up were the mean wantabe punk people. Ugh. So yeah. Bad meet. Really bad.

On Sunday (the 18th) I turned 21, we didn't do anything since I wanted to save our extra money for Tursday (the 22nd). I managed to beat Fire Emblem (for the GBA) AND Path of Radiance~ I'm now working on Radiant Dawn. :3 I still haven't drank anything though, not since I was 7 and my moms friend spiked my pepsi. e_e;

Nothing exciting happend between Monday and Wensday.

On Thursday (yesterday/today, the 22nd) I got to go see my favorite band, Nightwish. n_n By see.. I mean hear. Everyones taller then me so I only saw them a little bit, but they sounded great, just as good as they do on their CDs. I bought another copy of their new CD Dark Passion Play, as well as the opening bands CD, Sound Syndacite. They were from Sweeden, Nightwish is Finnish~ I also bought one of the over priced t-shirts. xD;

It was pretty good, they even took requests for the last 3 songs they played. I'd wished they'd done Planet Hell or Crownless, but the fact the did I wish I had An Angel and Wishmaster was super cool. Anette is getting really good at doing their older songs now, she faltered a bit on Siren, but its okay~ I don't much enjoy that song anyway. :3 I'd wished they'd played a few more songs.

Best of all, dad likes them so we get to go see them again in SanFran in sep. :3 Yay. xD

So the last two weeks have been.. not bad, but not great. My tooth infection came back, but its gone away again. At least while it was back it didn't hurt. xD;

I got a Wii last week. Haven't set it up for wi-fi yet, I only got pokemon for it, since I felt I should get a wii game and all the others looked sucky. I've been playing Tales of Symphonia, its okay, but I really dislike the controller. :/ Its akward compared to the PS2s and feels a bit to big for my hands. I'm still waiting on my copy of the GC Fire Emblem to arrive, it should be here tomorrow. :3 When I go pick up Chaos Wars (PS2 GS/EB exclusive SRPG) in like.. 2 weeks, I plan on buying the Wii Fire Emblem game. That'll probably be the last of my Wii/GC thingiers till ToS:DoTNW comes out, which I think will be late summer/early fall.

I just saw some new screenies of Tales of Vesparia (the 360 Tales game) and it looks so.. so.. cool. +_+; I want it so bad. I swear, the moment it gets a release date I'm gonna go down to EB and buy a 360. I will. Just so I can be all ready and stuff for it. Just looking at screens makes me drool. /rice

..I completely skipped the 2x EXP event RO had last week. I choose to play Etrian Odyssey, Persona 3:FES, Pokemon Dungeon 2, and ToS instead. ._.; Poor RO losing out to a few dungeon crawlers.

I just managed to get to year 2(well now 5) in Harvest Moon DS Cute, managd to slog through the last two months or so for the baby to be born. I ended up selling all my animals so I could just sleep through winter. xD; I just gotta trigger the rival events so everyone else can get married now. o_o; Oh Speaking of HM, I just noticed a HM for the wii (and teh DS it seems) is coming out in June/July. It looks pretty cool, it has like 12 people to woo, and most of them are so cute. Not just to girls either, but the boys too! ;-; I want. I'll be wooing Juli of course, or maybe Won, or Gill.. and if I ever choose to play as a boy I'll woo Roomi.. or Mai. They're both so.. loli. +_+

;; To bad you cant marry them all. I swear, I like half the guys and girls in this one. Juli is just so.. flamboyant looking. and Gill is a rich/stalker type boy, and Won.. is a doctor. o_o Tao looks like Gin from Bleach, that alone makes him pretty cool too. boys / girls

;D Sigh.. I'm just a bit giddy over HM. This one will be pretty cool too because when you get married your spouse (and later child) will help you with the farm work! And the idea of using the wii-mote to water/farm sounds fun. xD; 

Oki. Thats about it. I'm gonna go back to ToS now. I ended up restarting because I missed some convos with Kratos. I hope I don't like Kelos (haven't met him yet..) because Kratos is love. He was so wonderful in Tales of The World, its half the reason I got the game.

Been horridly depresed the last 10 days or so. My tooth infection is gone, but about 10 days ago Athena (my fav. kitty) went missing. I searched the feilds for her but couldn't call for her because I had only been taking my meds for like.. a day at that point, couldn't move my jaw at all.

So yeah.. Its like losing my best friend. Everything reminds me of her and every time Gorge (her nearly twin broher) walks into a room I think its her. ._. I've been checking the county shelter site every day and just checked the one in the city today and theres cat there who looks like her. So even though its unlikely she ended up in the city I plan on calling about her and asking a few things that help deermine if she is infect my cat.

Hopefully she is. I did manage to clam myself down the last 3 days or so but all of a suden today I just started crying. Now I'm depressed again too and can't focus on anything, like video games or anime.

Sigh.. If we cant find Athena by the start of May we're probably gonna get me a new kitten (for me and our not-so kitten who misses Athena too.) and maybe a puppy. o_x; I don't want a puppy, but some people my dad knows has a few and they're so cute and chubby. They'll be weened in a week or two so, and my parents are really wanting one. I just know I'll be the one who ends up walkin it and scooping up its poopy though. D: Ugh.

I'm also dissapointed because I don't think I get to goto Chicago this May after all. Moms getting sicker again and dad probably cant get enough days off work to stay home with her.. sigh. I hate feeling responsable. :/ I'll have to tell Emily and Shar soon. Maybe tomorrow, if they're on AIM. ~_~

Excedrien however rocks. Really. It takes all the pain away~ *frolics~*

Swelling has gone down so its about where it was on Monday, it'd probably be gone but I missed 3 doses of my medice because the pain meds I'd also got made me sick, so I couldn't keep anything down for about 18 hours. Ugh.

Next week once the infection/swelling is gone I'll have to go get the remaining part of my tooth removed so that infection can't return. Boo.

I haven't seen a dentist in.. a least 10 years. Lol.. But I'l try and be strong.. a few moments of pain is better then not being able to move ones jaw for a week. ;__;

n_n Good games come out this month too~ Rondo of Swords for DS, Persona 3 FES for PS2, and Pokemon Dungeon something or other for DS! *excited* I still gotta beat Wild Arms XF and Mana-Khema though. I did manage to beat Harvest Moon DS Cute though~ Sorta~ My characters baby is almost born. lol.. 10 more days. +_+;

I'm ready for bed. ~_~

XD They are~ This will be a decent month in terms of games. Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicals Rings of Fate and Wild Arms XF come out next week, and Final Fantasy Crisis Core and Harvest Moon DS Cute come out in the latter half of the month.

So 2 for the DS, and 2 for the PSP. I'm looking forward to WAXF and HMDSC most~ If FFCCROF and FFCC are bad, I'm giving up on S-E games unless it has "Dragon Quest" in its name, and maybe even then I won't get it. (DQ Monsters sucked XD)

Anyway~ I wish it'd be next week already. I want to play WAXF ;o; I actually wanna play HM more, but its still a while a way. In HMDSC you can have a "best friend" instead of a hubby. XD Its amusing sounding, spcailly since all the HM guys are total duds most of the time.

Another HM game comes out in April too! o_o; So much Harvest Moon-goodess. I've also been stalking EB for the past week or so, waiting for the two Tales Of games to get offical release dates. I don't even own a Wii or 360 but I plan on preordering/both just to show my support for the series. I mean, I'll have all 3 current gen systems.. just not soon. xD;

I also need to preorder a few games for next month.. Harvest Moon Island of Happiness, Rondo Of Swords, Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Explorers of Time, and.. there was like one other? Mana-Khema comes out on the first of April, but I've already got that pre-ordered.

So much love from game companies right now~ I've been so close to emo for the last month or two because there werent any (decent) RPGs released for any of the sytems I have. ._.;

In cat news: 3 toms (unfixed male cats) moved into the barn last year. I've nearly tamed all 3, so I'm updating my cat count to 15. xD; Still gotta name the black and the gray and white one. The black and white got named Cookies and Cream, or Cookie for short. :3

I do. I figured out how to convert media into mp4 format so I can play stuff on my psp. xD; I'm converting the whole Claymore anime atm so I can have it on my psp~ ..Mostly because it happens to be the only complete anime I have atm. xD;

;_; this month is going WAY to slow. Go faster feb, faster I tell you! *cracks a whip*

D: I want to pay my credit card but I dont want to till it says I owe money for next month (which is like on the 20th or so? :/) Blah.

I'm bored too. I should finish Persona 3 or Raphsody, but I'm not in the mode for console RPGs atm.. and I have to gain like 50+ levels in Disgaea before I can get past this chapter in Etna mode, but I hate grinding. And it cant just be 50 levels for Flonne or Etna, I'd need at least 3 characters at like 200. ;-; and I only have 4 who are over 120 anyway. Boo.

I dunno.. I wanna watch anime but nothings good come out recently. At least my stuff I bought last week shipped. :/ Got a ton of doll crap from Dollmore and a few sellers on DoA, I also (as I posted I think earlier) got the new Nightwish cd.. those were all shiped yesterday or saturday it seems. So our box at the UPS store will be pretty full by mid-week. xD;

Also! the horrid dead.. screen pixels my laptop got a few months back are. vanishing slowly. I think its cause of the warmer weather, the LDC crystals or whatever must be.. melting? I dunno. I just hope the big onethat comes up over the bottom tool bar goes away. I should just take it to a computer store to get it fixed, but I'm lazy and cheap. :/

And.. lastly, I found a faceup artist I want to do Aeria's faceup~ Oh yay. n_n I'm excited, she's a bit expensive, but her work is soo good. And she made another School Head B not look like crap, so.. yey!.. now to decide if I want realistic wing ears or chibi wing ears. hm.

Soo I finally decided what to do with my blank school head B! I'm gonna turn her into my alchemist, Aeria Gloris. :3 I found a girl on DoA who'll mod her ears for me, and I found the most PERFECT wig that looks just like how I draw Aeria's hair. +__+ So woot!

I sold my Yo-SD Papi and have almost finished selling my DollMore Asha.. So that'll be funding my hunt for a body for Aeria (and maybe a plane ticket if I still get to goto Acen in may ;o;) But I cant send her out for modding till March, and I really wanna send her out now! xD; lol..

Anyway. ._.; I've been sorta playing RO recently, Aeria is almost 98. Its sort of exciting, but I've been like 15% away for close to 4 months now. xD

annnnd lastly, I finally got around to ordering Nightwish's newest full album. xD; I would have preordered their new single but I dislike the song "bye bye beautiful" so I didn't :3

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Sorry for all the shoe/leg shots. xD; I love her shoes. Been waiting for a clear day for weeks so I could take some pictures of them. n_n I also have some super fab black boots that have little belt buckles on them and some adorable red and white heeled shoes. Its to bad I dont have an outfit that matces them and that I dont have heeled feet for her. ._.;

I also like video games.

So I got Chrono Cross early in the month and beat it. I got most of its endings, and I have to say I enjoyed the game very much. Even if it was easy as hell. I also liked it cause it had sooo many cool girl characters. Like Leena. She fights with a frying pan n_n

I'm so addicted to amazon. e_e; I can find any video game I want it seems. I ordered Persona 3 and a guide for it, should arrive tomorrow. I'm excited,I mean it -was- voted best PS2 game/RPG of the Year by a ton of sites. Plus the hero is a totally cute japanese emo-looking boy. o_o;

I also ordered Rhapsody: A Musical Adventure, because I missed out on it at EB like 8 years ago. xD; I've heard its easy and generic, but its main character is a girl and her party members are puppets. and her prince is kiddaped by a villin in a thong! Who happens to be a speical party member you can get in Disgaea. o_o; Anyway. It should be here on friday or saturday. n_n

On the first I'm gonna buy this dating-ish sim game called Animamundi: Dark Alchemist, it has gothic lolita art and yaoi themes. But if you dont want the main character to be gay he can also end up with one of girls too. :o It looks pretty. I saw cosplayers and art for it at Fanime a few years back..

e_e; Yes, my world revolves aroud video games.

Oh in other news, we had to re-register to vote (the California thingers for the Democratic? nomination? is coming up Feb 3rd?4th?) becase they still had our old address. Hopefully they'll come in time. u_u Not that it'll matter. We have to vote abesentie because our area doesnt have enough voters to support a polling place (even though theres one a mile away..) we cant goto it cause its in a different area they said. .__.; Bah they never count the absentie ballets. ;-;

:3 I hope everyone had a nice day today. Mine wasn't to bad. I've already had all my gifts for a few weeks now, except for the new Toaster Oven. Thats more of a family gift though. Its a nice one, its way bigger then the other ones we had before. :3 I can bake chicken now, lol..

My other gifties included a 4 Gig memory stick for my PSP, Tales of Eternia (that doesn't have the Volt glitch~ yay) and the downloadable Wild Arms game from the Play Station Store. I beat it already, like a few days ago? Took me like 30 hours, I enjoyed it a lot, even if the sounds were crap. Oh, and the new-ish Nightwish album.. Its not here yet though, it'll be a few days yet. xD;

:x In other news, my laptops dieing. It has a whole blotch of dead pixels now on the bottom of the screen, that get worse if you pike it or turn it off/on to much. So I've been avoiding the internet because it makes me depressed. ._.; It also makes it hard to play RO, which isn't so bad. RO is all about WoE and PvP now. So I'm probably done with it till we get the 3rd classes. Unless of course 3rd class Alch is also Int-based like Biochemist, then I doubt I'll come back.

Anyway. So.. yeah. I hope everyones doing well~

Just as I was about to transfer the money from my paypal the lady I'd contacted about a head I'd wanted said I could buy it. So no Wii for me. xD; I've bought a blank School Head B, which will get a faceup sometime next month and a body of some sort in December. I also got some shoes and a wig from DollHeart, which is mostly for Rosary.. I figure she can share her shoes though. u_u;

Ahh.. I have 7 dollars left. ._. I also forgot to mail the girl the hair things that went with the dress I sold her, so I have to mail those to her in the next week or so. :/ There goes my perfect feedback. Ahh. ;_;

My kittens are so cute. D: Arty sits on me at night and I like that. Also since I'm so tired of SRPGs (I did buy 5 in a row, and a 6th next week..) I'm gonna finish up some normal RPGs. Shadow Hearts 3 is what I'm working on now. I got half way through the first time but got bored, gonna see if I can't push my way through this time. Or I could just level in RO. XD;

:/ Yeah. Woo. Anyway, once Rosary's new wig gets here I'll post a few pictures of her in it. I'd found out the meet last weekend that she looks better in lighter wigs. I ended up buying a pink one, because I like pink (and it'll match her pink eyes. :D)

:3 I've been doing a mix of stuff recently, none of which is really useful or helpful, mostly just fun stuff.

Gaming:
I'm nearly drowning in games atm, to many came out. ;_; Some of which sucked, of course. I wasn't being picky enough I suppose. :/

I only got 15 hours into Growslancer, but I've deicded it sucks.
I didnt get more then 3 hours into Heros of Mana before I gave up on it.
I'm still trying to liek Wild Arms 5, but its not working to well.
I'm still majorly stuck in .hack//GU Vol. 3 I don't want to level, but I think its the only way I can beat this guy. D:
Digimon World: Dusk is hard. .__.; but it came with stickers lol..

I am however enjoying Final Fantasy Tactics, which I gave up on back when it was on the PS1. :/ I had found its text to hard to understand and confusing. I like its new translation a ton, but its.. hard. XD;

I'm almost done with Jeanne D'Arc, which is probably my fav game of '07 thus far. Not only is its main character female, but its story made me cry. Oh Lianne. ;_;

I'm excited about the upcomming release of Disgaea: Afternoon of Darkness. Yay for more time with my psp~

in RO I got to 97 on my Alchemist, she's cureently at about 50%.. But I've no will to 99 her since I don't want to be an AD biochemist, and theres no way I'd ever 99 again if I didn't go AD. So I made a new battle sage and made a soul linker and married him. She's 74. :3

Cats: We lost Vanilla this summer, which is a hard loss for me because she had such personality. She just vanished one day in mid-summer. :/ This has happened every summer though for the last 3 years, so I wasn't supprised. I just didn't think it'd be her.

A few weeks ago dad found some kittens near the end of our road, so we've taken them in. All our other cats are upset by this. XD We found out they were Lo's cats (he's the strawberry farmer next to us.) But since he's some sort of asian guy he cant let cats stay in his house, so he brought them to his farm and left them there. :/ He didnt provide food or a shelter for them to sleep in. So we aren't giving them back. The girl was gonna be called Selena, but dad hates that name so for now she's called Diana. The boy is called Artimus, but we also call him "tub of lard" because he eats so much. :3 he's so cute, Athena hates him though.. and me. She hasnt let me pet her in days. :x

Dolls: Went to a doll meet on Saturday, took my girls with me and Rosary wore her BSTTB dress. I don't like it much (I've had months to look at it after all.) and so I'm selling it to a girl who atteneded the meetup for $400 bucks. :3 I paid $200~ So I'm happy. I've been debating about what to buy. A sweet dream nono/dollfrie dream hybrid is what I think I'll get, since I cant aford a SwD Nono fullset. Or maybe some cloths for Rosary.. Or wait for Volks' December DolPa.. Or maybe I'll get a Wii, since Fire Emblem is coming out next month. Hard choices. :/

Dad and mom are fine. The cars need a bit of work though, but thats nothing new. My chickens are still alive and well, much to my dismay. e_e; Pig is good too.. Rats have moved into our walls though, so sleeping at night is a pain because they chew. We cant get posion cause the cats would eat it or the posioned rats and then they'd die too. :/ so We're not sure what to do.